The Diary Of A Teenager: Part 24 – The Three Mistakes Of My Life

Mistakes. They are the most beautiful thing the man has ever created. It’s my mistakes that have always helped me to grow, transform, love. Yet, like all others, it took me long to acknowledge what they did for me.

Man is stupid, who fears to make mistakes. I don’t understand why anyone would deprive oneself of a chance to learn. Of many such lessons learnt through my mistakes, one that I carved in my heart is: Deliberation spoils relations.

Relations are to be lived and not manufactured. You should be part of a relation; not the creator. The moment you try to be the creator, you end up disrespecting the indiscernible soul of that relation. And in my quest of being the closest to Aditi I committed this mistake; not once but thrice.

In life, some experiences, however bitter they may be, take us closer to a person. Sana should have been probably mad at me, or that’s how I thought it should have happened. But the next morning, she was different.

She came to me and talked to me like I was a very close friend of hers. She talked to me about her family, about what she thought about our classmates, and then, about Ankit.

Ankit was a brat from the other section who had been hitting on her from two years. An average built specy, filled with arrogance and vanity.

To be frank, he looked nothing more than a ‘mistake’ trying to act like a hero out of a B-grade movie. With at least, five sycophants running around him to lick the dirt out of his face, it was evident that it wasn’t his personality but the moolahs raked in by his parents that kept those ALs (ass lickers) around.

At such a time, when my relation was on a dicey ground, I was least interested in listening to what Sana wanted to say, but then I owed her an apology. I sometimes kept making an effort to listen to what she was saying, but was failed by the constant intervention of thoughts that kept pouring in. Thoughts about how I could ensure that when I leave the class, I leave with a belief that I haven’t lost Aditi.

A spider’s web is a perfect example of the situation where I was. The more I tried to free myself, escape; the more I got entangled in the web.

The Unit Tests were just a few days away, and I was spending more and more time with Sana. I knew that Aditi was a serious student; hence, it would be stupid to think that she would be attending all the classes till UT. After all, they were our first UTs in the new school.

For me they were actually UTs (Untimely Tests). Ten days later these obnoxious little weeds were going to separate me and Aditi, when I was in real need of a new physics law (or ‘one’ which I could invent) that could scientifically make everyday last at least 60 hours.

Time was running out. And since, I scored low (abysmal is the perfect word) on the style quotient, I decided to play a gamble with the resource I ‘thought’ I had in profusion –intellect.

After two days of long separation (I guess, which applied only to me) I squeezed time to sit with Kritika, Navjyot and Aditi. It felt like eternity when I saw her laugh at my lame jokes. There’s a strong relation between lame jokes and girls. They always tend to click with the girls who are friendly with you; but the same set of jokes, prove critically endangering when experimented with girls trying to repel you.

So in between those small chit-chats I teased Aditi by enquiring whether the ‘liking-percentage’ has increased or not. And very playfully to my bad-luck, she kept putting the topic off.

Finally, I decided to make the gamble. I challenged Aditi to out-score me in the coming UT and in return I promised not to prick the issue again. I was sure that I would score more than her. She was a silent lamb in the class; I was the one who shone in front of teachers. First she tried to disagree, boosting my self-belief, but quite reluctantly later agreed on the persuasion of Kritika.

Sitting on the dining table, I was lost in these thoughts, smiling at few occasions, when papa decided to take me out of my hypnotic world.

“Girish Bhaiya had called up today. Can you just go to his place on Sunday? He needs you there.”

‘Papa my UTs are just round the corner. How will I study?’

‘Oh jaise ki tu boht padta hai… tokri lejaani padti hai jab bhi tere results lene jati hu! (Like you study a lot… every time I go to get your results, I need to carry baskets) ’ mom joined the discussion.

‘Carry your books. It’s just for a day. Anyways, the apartment is holding a Jagrata. So you can study at Bhaiya’s place. You used to love staying with him. Is everything alright?’ dad sounded concerned.

“Arey, dad it’s just that I want to score high…”

“Oh, don’t take tension. You’ll just do fine! So he will pick you from school on Saturday.” Cutting me midway in my discourse, Mom completed the soft-toned command.

When mom makes such soft-toned commands, we all adhere to it strictly; because we all know that if we don’t the very next following sequence of things would be in this manner – anger, sobs, anger, sobs, again anger, more sobs and finally just sobs.

So in order to help her maintain her body-water-levels we always cut her at the first sob itself and give whatever she wants.

Sitting at the other side of a counter isn’t a pleasant experience, not when you are surrounded by beautiful ornaments shinning Gold. That tenses your muscles up, for you can never imagine when you might become a victim of Delhi’s criminal exercises.

It’s queer, because I don’t now whether I should actually thank God that no customers turned up that afternoon, or should I curse Him. After all, it was my brother’s shop; I would always like it to prosper.

So when you have nothing much to do in a shop, you have two options – gaze at the idiot box or call some idiot. I opted for the second option. I picked the receiver up and dialled Navjyot.

‘Fantastic! He’s busy with someone. Or maybe, it would be aunty.’ I murmured in disappointment.

After Navjyot, the only name that resonated in my mind and was tempting enough to be slyly given a call was Aditi. But then, calling her was sort of banned. She feared her dad, or at least, that is what me and Navjyot thought. The biggest fear for any guy is father of his girlfriend, and for girls, the biggest dragon is the mother of her boyfriend.

Nonetheless, I decided to give it a try. ‘If she picks up, I will talk to her, if she can. Otherwise, IF it’s her dad, then, I would simply say something and put the phone down. After all, he’s just a dad. How bad can a dad be? Right?’ I assured myself.

I picked the received and pushed her number. I must appreciate the Tata telecom department for their ‘class’ ‘You-are-in-queue’ recording, which wins hands down for using the most irritating voice;  of course, after BSNL’s. Every time you hear the recording you feel the itch to throw the phone as far as possible. Now, that’s what we call deep understanding of customer needs

After few minutes of constant dialling, the phone finally rang. Before I could just rehearse my lines, a male voice grunted from the other side, “hello.”

‘Hello,’ I squeaked. “Er… can I speak to… (I thought for a microsecond)… Ramesh Sharma?” I thanked wholeheartedly to whomsoever the name belonged to.

“Don’t you have eyes? Are you blind? Are your fingers alright?” spat came the reply from the other end.

For a moment I went into serious cogitation, how is a wrong number connected to anyone being blind? Or was he working for some NGO that worked for the disabled? But thankfully, her father saved my time and energy. “Can’t you see what number you are dialling, moron?”

“I am sorry, uncle”

“What sorry?” he seemed in no mood to stop this. He was breathing fire!

Since, her father didn’t know me, I had nothing to lose. “Arey… I said am sorry, what else do you expect anyone to say. If you have installed a telephone, you would get miscalls, messages and wrong numbers. You have problem with that… sue me… or better, sue Tata!” and I jammed the receiver down. It felt like I had just won a war, peace overpowered me.

To be continued

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The Diary Of A Teenager: Part 23 – I met Navjyot… the real one.

Aditi’s smile has always been an assurance to me. So when she said, ‘its ok’, I believed it. I had always believed what she said to me. Whatever, that be. But I knew that I had committed a blunder and I had to rectify it. I had to be clear and make others also clear what I felt for Sana.

That afternoon, Navjyot and I sat beside each other on the stairs, looking away at a group of kids playing football in the playground. After a silence that seemed to last almost forever, he said the words that made me proud of being his friend.

‘You know what Harshit, just because I’m your friend, doesn’t mean I’ll overlook your mistakes. But I can never leave you alone in turmoil; even if it meant that I should be a part of it. I would never remember what mistakes you have made, but how many of them you rectified.  If I’m partner to your crime, the least I expect of you is to understand the wrong and do what’s right.’

I felt his words, but couldn’t gather the courage to face him. Gazing at a yonder point I simply said, “Navjyot, I know I screwed it. I really feel bad about it…. I even talked to Aditi, but she said she’s fine with what she saw that day. Maybe, she is bit more open minded than both of us. Maybe, she actually didn’t feel anything.”

‘Dude, Aditi might not have acted that you have hurt her; maybe, because she hasn’t yet said ‘yes’ to your proposal and feels that she doesn’t have the right to object your sudden outburst of attraction to Sana. But what you are forgetting is that she is a friend – and a girl. She would not only feel betrayed that she had to see her prospective ‘boyfriend’ in such awkward situation, but she will also be hurt ‘coz you, ‘her friend’, never-ever told her anything about such an attraction… … The point is not what she or anyone, including me, think about you. The point is that you understand what you feel for Sana. Talk to yourself; no one better holds the right answer. But let me assure you mate, I’ll always be there for you, whatever your decision be.’

I had no words to reply. I have been overlooking and arguing my case unnecessarily. “You are right, what I did wasn’t expected of a friend. I’ll correct that mistake, today itself.”

Sana was sitting surrounded by her friends in the last few benches. For a second I looked around to see if Aditi was somewhere near. Thankfully, she wasn’t in the class. I went to the group of girls sitting with Sana. The giggles and gossips hit a sudden break as one of the girls saw me approaching towards them.

My forehead was sweating, and my voice a bit shaky. Looking at her I asked “can I talk to you for a second?”

“Ya, sure. We can talk here; any problems with that?”

‘Er… not here. Perhaps, auditorium will be fine. I’ll be waiting for ya.’ And I left the scene.

Sana had a very expressive face. Although it wasn’t something she did deliberately, but all the ‘wrong expressions’ always appeared on her face betraying her will at the wrong time. Unlike me, she hardly had any control on her facial expressions.

I was waiting at the first floor exit of the auditorium, which we fondly called ‘audi’. Sana came in after a few minutes of the recess bell. Her demeanour had typical traces of the Suraj Barjatya movies. Her head hung in embarrassment, her fingers twined with each other; her voice was definitely getting feeble as she got closer to the place I was standing.

After minutes of silence she finally spoke, “Why is that you have called me here? You wanted to say something?”

“Oh yes…er…I don’t know how to begin this…its sort of embarrassing… but…see may be you won’t like what I am going to ask you… many girls don’t… you know what I am saying..” she just kept her eyes on the ground.

I continued,  “…see …Sana you are a very great girl….and beautiful indeed…you would always have an image of your dream boy…but…though my friends say I should ask you this…but… … Why did you reject Bhuvan’s offer? He is a great guy.”

Her head sprung back and she looked at me with blended emotions of confusion, disgust, embarrassment and anger. ‘THIS is what you wanted to ask?… This? … …You could have asked the same in the class… when you came up to me…. why the audi?‘

“Well… I didn’t want others to know about this…and also, I didn’t know how you would react. “

“Harshit, you are impossible… … you are an ass… in fact, calling you an ass is an understatement… …huh” and she left the place stomping and grunting with anger.

As she vanished from my sight, I burst out into laughter that continued till I reached my class on the third floor. The classroom filled with laughter as the zodiac dragons came to know about the prank. Even Sana’s friends didn’t let her escape from their bit of teasing. All the while Navjyot gave me a smile and gestured me to meet him in the corridor.

‘I don’t think that was such a great idea, ‘he said.

“What do you mean? I asked. “I did that to know whether she had any feelings for me… I bet she was expecting me to propose her…… I guess she does have some weird sort of attraction hidden deep inside her heart……….. And yes…. …. she and the class now know that I don’t have any feelings for her. Otherwise, why would I play such a prank on her? Why would I ask her about Bhuvan? I think it was great plan!”

‘That isn’t what actually bothers me. What does is that why you even want to know what Sana feels for you,’ he said.

He took a pause, and continued, “this was never about her, it was always about you. What if, people think that you wanted to propose her but got cold feet in the last moment? What if Aditi learns of it? I know that she hasn’t yet given you the answer you seek from her. I don’t know whether she even has the answer. Neither do I know what her answer is, but definitely, you are giving her too many questions.’

I simply stood there listening to him, his words. They sounded different, very different. As if it was not the Navjyot I knew; the stupid, funny surd, who always, made a fool out of himself and ended up making me and Aditi roll on the floor laughing. He was silent, composed and pensive. And suddenly, it became clear to me why he was different.

In fact, that day I happened to meet the real Navjyot. One, who thought with maturity, spoke wisely, and was hurt. When in pain you speak from you heart, the sobs that run down your cheeks spring from your heart.

That day I realised that it wasn’t about me, Sana, or even Aditi. It was about my friend. He was the one who was hurt. Even more than Aditi; and I was busy trying to mend things with her. I realised that day, Navjyot wasn’t a stupid moron; I was.

All the while I was acting smart; I was actually being stupid… or rather in Sana’s words – an ass. I was no more bothered about what other might say or feel about the whole issue, not even Aditi. I didn’t care that my idea might backfire.

I had earned a true friend that day. One who warns you before you take a wrong step, helps you when you are about to fall, but never hinders your journey, because he understands that you need to take a step to start the journey. Even if you falter, he’s there beside you cheering, and encouraging you to take another step; guide you through to the end.

That day, I returned home smiling because that day my friend had grown up… or should I say… that day, I found a real friend.

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5 Misunderstandings About Indian Men

Most of the time this Mars and Venus theory helps you to calm yourself down after a fight with someone from opposite sex. I being an Indian male never understood the Indian female mind. It’s just kind of a bizarre thing for me. Similarly, girls also find it difficult to either understand a male mind or if they do understand it, they are most often filled with many misunderstandings about us. I talked with few of my girl-friends to understand what they actually think about men. After the discussions, these were the few points I really thought were debatable.

 

a) Men just want one thing

Ask any girl what men want; they always say the three letter word. Many a time, most relations face stiff arguments, just because of these misunderstanding. My girl friend had just read Chetan Bhagat’s – five point someone. And ever since then, whenever I used to hold her hands, she took it the other way!

Now let me get this straight. Emotions are something that both of the partners have, then why throw the sexual ones only into the man’s share? Can’t any guy hold his girls hand just for the sake of it? Why always brand it in a single category?

 

b) Cleanliness-loving man is an oxymoron

Just in case you don’t know what oxymoron is- it is defined as ‘conjoining contradictory terms.’ I agree guys love dirt and are lazy to clean there rooms, but that doesn’t mean you can brand every guy as a dirt-lover. In fact guys don’t like dirt, they just don’t mind it! If you are on the field, how can you escape dirt? It’s just the way guys grow up. they are always asked to play and play hard like a soldier which makes them comfortable with mud and dirt. If guys had been asked to play skip the rope and dolls in place of cricket and footbal we might also have been dirt concious. But just imagine your brother or boyfriend asking you to join him for a skip-the-rope and stuff like that… you would have surely freaked out, huh?

 

c) Clothes: the lesser the better

Thanks to some perverted minds who have led to women brand the whole male community as cloth haters. I don’t deny that Mallika Sherawat is famous because of us but remember its not men who love to see Salman, Hritik and John half naked. And if you do remember the last time Bekkham, did the act, it resulted in some big time bombings on the hoarding by his salviating female fans!

If you ask me about Indian men, then if they are serious about you, they would always like you to dress as properly as possible. In short, Indian men prefer their sisters, mother and girl friends to dress as decently as possible when they go out with them. Though they won’t mind seeing their girl friends in a revealing dress, but that’s applicable only when you two are alone.

 

d) Hate commitments

Changing trends have made inroads to relationship vistas as well. Earlier men used to get Goosebumps thinking about commitment, but nowadays, even the women are not very far behind. Independence, dates, career, responsibility etc are the things which trouble men from making commitments. Most of them also have a  fear deep down their conscience- what if I don’t feel the same intensity of love after marriage?  Now since the girls are equally concerned about the same issues, a lot of them think thrice before accepting to commit.

 

Though I listed these things here and many girls will read them, still I very well know that the impact of this is hardly going to last for couple of minutes!!

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